As you may be aware we are well into Lent, the time in the Christian year when people give up something. Many other religions have a similar time in their annual calendar, and unique to their faith.
At lent, chocolate is a well favoured item to give up – some succeed some get tempted. Now I am not here to judge or make anyone feel guilty if they have slipped from their chosen path, or to feel brilliant if you are still on track. This year though it got me thinking about what bad habits I may have that I should give up, and this raised some interesting questions.
How do we know we have started bad habits because once they have become part of our normal life, that is just what they are, normal to us? Just invisible.
Who do we have the courage to ask what habits we have developed that need changing? It is all well and good to ask someone close, the problem is that many of us may ask the question but be ill prepared for the answer. Then challenging the honesty of the answer and feeling hurt by the comment. The temptation is to react to the negative (probably in a less than appreciative way) and destroy the value now, and for other occasions when we need some critique.
Self analysis is also rather hit and miss. Our friends, family and clients may love that little foible we have that we are questioning.
The point that arose for me though was to relax and listen. Listen to ourselves, listen to what we may say to others and listen out for those habits in others that we do not like and then look in our own mirror and see if we do the same. We may be in for some good learning – I was!
The other day I was sitting with a client at their desk discussing some aspect of work, when after a few minutes there was a ‘ping’ from their computer – clearly an email had just landed. To their credit they ignored it. But there was an interesting and painful prick to my conscious. I advise most of my clients to switch off their email so it can be dealt with in one batch which save lots of time. It is something I do, well this was the painful part, I had used to do! I realised in that moment that the habit of leaving my email program on while I work on other matters had crept into my life. Inevitably, when an email lands even, if I don’t open it, the damage has been done – the distraction has lifted me from deep concentration on the task in hand to a much less deep state and I have to refocus again to get stuck back in. So it may not be the start of lent but this a bad habit that I am giving up.
Are you going to keep welcoming that comforting ‘ping’ which says someone wants you? Or are you going to give 100% attention to the task in hand? I know my answer.
My good wishes,
Peter
